Final Day Impressions (Fourteenth Day)
Through the grind
Yesterday, felt very anticlimactic. The closing arguments for both sides were heard, there was a bit more bravado and then it ended- rather abruptly, I might add. And then it dawned on me… I may miss the grind. The grind has intensity, passion, intrigue, emotions, and ultimately, in my mind- it was about Alexa. The case has allowed me to put the puzzle pieces together; although at the scene that day, there were still some fuzzy bits, clouded I’m sure by the trauma and shock. To hear all the accounts, has helped me piece things together. I have a more complete picture- although the sections on Ms. Berner are still a bit sketchy.
What I do know is that yesterday both sides presented case law to support their particular perspective on the evidence. What I have learned through this experience is that you can dig up case law to support whatever you wish it to serve. We, as the public, do not have access to the case law documents right there in the court room, so we cannot determine their context or appropriate use. For that we must rely on His Honour. Of course, I have taken copious amounts of notes, so I can go online and cross reference the cases, but ultimately, what benefit is that to me; the judge will determine the outcome here.
What I have also learned is that impaired is impaired… there may be a continuum but if your judgement is even slightly altered… you should not drive. We would not want pilots, air traffic controllers, bus drivers etc. to be even slightly impaired- when they are behind the controls, we want them at full faculty. So should we demand the same for people who drive on our streets. Game on- face fully forward…no trace of impairment.
Now, we return to the realities of normalcy. Candidly, I will miss the grind, and some of the players at the grind. It was an intellectual and emotional diversion. Frankly, I will not miss seeing Ms. Berner on a daily basis– that was very difficult to navigate, and although I did resist the urge to lunge and headlock, I did mutter comments under my breath. It is the oddest of social situations whereby you may run into a person in the washroom, the hallway where you pass one direction, and they, the other. My friends felt upset at the social oddity that they had to navigate as well. Very strange indeed. But we somehow ‘got it’.
The weekend is almost upon us, it is Daphne’s birthday today, Christian has a baseball game tonight, (which I love), and the sun is shining. Our pool is clean and ready for a summer of fun and entertainment…Normalcy returns.
Thanks to everyone for your support and for reading this blog. I know you were with me in spirit. The verdict will be given on July 27 at 9:30 a.m. Let’s enjoy the summer, and the work we are doing on Alexa’s Busses. Onward and upward.
Proudly, Alexa’s mom
11 Comments
Kelly on July 28, 2010 at 11:23 am says:
Dear Laurel and Michael,
I wanted to tell you that I am so incredibly happy that justice prevailed in this case. I have felt sorrow for you and your family since first hearing of this enormous tragedy. To me, it was simple, this woman drank, drove and caused a death. It didn’t seem complicated. You have been amazingly brave and well spoken throughout this ordeal. Drinking and driving is a major crime and should be treated as one. I hope Ms Berner goes to jail for a very long time. I’m sure the suffering you have endured as parents can’t even compare to 10 or even 20 years in jail. I admire your strength immensely , thank you for sharing your story. Sincerely, Kelly Johnston
Lori on July 28, 2010 at 6:57 am says:
not really a reply, I just wanted to acknowledge the bravery of Alexa’s parents. We have watched them over the months now serve their daughter to the bitter end. When a great deal of us would perhaps lash out where ever we could, the Middlear’s always displayed great courage, committment and maturity. I am pleased with the judges ruling and happy that little Alexa did not pass in vein. I wish the Middlear family all the very best for the future.
Michelle on July 27, 2010 at 10:56 am says:
I wore purple today for Alexa.
A victory that Berner was found guilty on all charges.
Justice did prevail.
May some sort of normalcy return to your lives.
Take care,
Michelle
Mark Liu on July 26, 2010 at 2:43 pm says:
Dear Laurel and Michael:
Hi, my name’s Mark Liu. As the verdict in your case is tomorrow, I wanted to send you a quick note to say my thoughts and prayers are with you.
May common sense prevail and justice be served in your case.
I think this case is an opportunity to demonstrate that drunk driving is unacceptable. And people who are guilty of such an offence will be held responsible and accountable.
May justice be on your side tomorrow.
Take Care,
Mark
Mark Liu on July 21, 2010 at 1:14 pm says:
Dear Laurel and Michael:
Hi, my name’s Mark Liu. I just wanted you send you a quick note to let you know I’m thinking of you and hoping and praying things will go well for you with your case.
I’ll be following the verdict on July 27th. May common sense prevail and may justice be served in your case.
Feel free to E-mail me if you’d like. I hope you’ve been having a good summer.
Take Care,
Mark
Tamara on July 5, 2010 at 3:43 pm says:
Laurel and Michael
I just found this beautiful poignant blog today, Malcolm and I still think of you everyday and sending you strength. I will be watching the verdict to see what transpires with your case and praying justice is served.
I admire your grace, dignity and strength, please send big hugs to Christian.
Guy Johanson on June 26, 2010 at 7:44 am says:
Hard to put in words impressions of this experience when it is so raw and emotional. I feel a modest sense of relief that at least this stage is over. Through it all we felt love and support like a warm blanket for each other and all the selfless community around us. We truly are never alone. To Michael & Laurel…I feel intense pride at the way you have handled your grief, the media and balancing your lives as you wade through this nightmare. The change that you are making-yes you, not the people you are asking political help from- is going to have a permanent and far reaching affect on our society. Others will be spared because of you. As ironic and sad as that is it is it is still the most joyful legacy that any parents could ever create for a lost daughter.
Love to all, Guy
David Hopkins on June 25, 2010 at 8:20 pm says:
Laurel,
Just wanted to let you know that I am proud of your perseverance and your will to see the bright side of life. I left some seashells and colourful stones at the base of Alexa’s memorial post by the pasture where she fed the horses. I also tried to feed her horses myself, but I found they’ve been moved. A cyclist almost ran me over yesterday. He was going really fast too. Just goes to show that not all people take care of what they do and, just like Carol, have a major lesson to learn.
All in all, Alexa will never be gone, and you will eventually see her again. I believe her spirit forgives Carol. I know it’s hard, but you could consider at least trying to do the same.
Judge Gulbramson sounds reasonable and he sounds like the person who will probably make the right decision. Justice will prevail in the end.
David
Lisa/Angus Lloyd on June 25, 2010 at 10:33 am says:
Dear Laurel, Michael and Christian
I have been following your plight from the moment I heard about Alexa and Daphne, googling Alexa’s name from time to time as the months passed, just to see what was happening with the case and to learn of all the good things you are doing. My heart aches for you all and I commend you on your honouring of Alexa’s life and dedication to ensuring others do not go through the same nightmare.
I wish you peace.
Lisa
Bro J on June 25, 2010 at 8:49 am says:
Like many, I too have read your blog each day Laurel and for me my emotions have run from once end of the spectrum to the other. However, the one constant is your grace, dignity and respect to all involve under extreme duress. To all those who have surrounded not only you but our precious “family basket” with love and support….thank you. I would like to thank all the media outlets for their professionalism and respect towards our family.
I love our family so much….miss Alexa dearly and I’m so thankful that my wonderful sister continues to march on.(Guy, you rock!)
To all the first reponders, thank you for stepping forward and assisting my sister, my mom and dad, and dear Alexa under horrific conditions.
I’ll will do my best to honor our precious angel…….
Bro J
Bill Lacey on June 25, 2010 at 8:24 am says:
Hello,
I, as a bereaved parent, relate to your feelings from
this loss. May you, as I, continue more with the precious memories of your child.
Our son crossed over very quickly from cancer. A strong event was when his, and my, doctor lied to
the Worker’s Compensation Board as to his knowing
of Maurice’s illness. Do individuals really believe lying will benefit them some how. I don’t believe so!