Mom's first blog
Throughout the course of my life, I have never written a blog to record my thoughts, especially in such a public manner. However, what I have experienced as a mother does not happen (thankfully) to many, so I see merit in recording my thoughts, in hope that perhaps they can prove helpful to someone else.
My heart is broken; there is a permanent wound. I am told by my entourage of counsellors that this will never heal. And sadly, deep in my broken heart, I know this is true. Yet, in spite of this knowledge, I am acutely aware that there are layers of softening. The kind gestures, the words said, the touch on my arm, the welling of tears in someone else’s eyes, the silent understanding, the intense interest in keeping Alexa’s spirit alive, are like small healing bandages that soothe. I do hold tightly to these small gestures; they provide comfort on an unexpected level. Although some may feel that their smile, touch or nod are simple and insignificant, I can assure that they are not. They provide a lifeline of softening that make a difference to me each day.
More later…
3 Comments
Allison Danish on May 14, 2010 at 9:53 pm says:
Hi Laurel,
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard not to cry hearing this story. I admire your strength and determination. I have never drank and drove, nor will I. How stupid could someone be, getting behind the wheel after drinking? I’ve never been able to understand it. I’m always designated driver when I go out, because I feel better knowing that everyone will be safe. I showed this site to a friend of mine that felt it was okay to drink and drive. After reading through everything, she said she would never ever do it again. Your story really impacted her. I know it’s not much, but your experience helped someone see the dangers of driving under the influence and she will be one less drunk driver on the roads. Thank you for this site and sharing your pain, so others can learn from this tragedy and make better choices in the future.
xoxo
Allison
Sue Hughes on February 25, 2009 at 10:54 am says:
Dear Laurel,
I, of course, heard the media report about Alexa’s passing. I have, just yesterday, read your story in West World, the BCAA publication.
I couldn’t sleep last night and re-read the story. Recently, I read a book called “The Shack” by William P. Young. It is a fictional work about a family who lost their young daughter. It is a profound story and I wondered if I could send you a copy? It might help you find your way back to prayer and help with some of those softening layers you mentioned.
Like you, this is my first ever public communication. I am finding that the words are not coming through my fingers to tell you how I was touched by Alexa and cannot imagine the grief you and your family must endure.
Sincerely,
Sue Hughes
Laurel on May 14, 2009 at 4:04 pm says:
Hi Sue,
I was given “The Shack” by a very dear friend. The book did provide comfort to me on some levels, and for that I am very thankful. Thank you for reaching out to our family, and for allowing Alexa’s story to touch you. We ask that you follow this story in the media, and determine for yourself the safety standards we have here in BC. We will be posted more often, once the case commences.
Fondly,
Laurel